Adventures in Tech Support

I got a Sony BDP-S350 for graduation, and I must say Blu-ray movies on a high-def TV are quite lovely. I got Firefly and Pushing Dasies along with it. They are also quite lovely. The problem comes when I bought some movies off Amazon. Well, they all worked except one: Starship Troopers. I know may people may not believe it to be worth their trouble, but I believe the movie is underrated and gets better every time I watch it.

Of course, the problem is I can’t watch it. The disk loads, the screen goes black, then nothing happens. I try my other stuff, they work fine. So, I send the disk back to Amazon. They send me a new one, which also has the same problem. I feel like I’ve elminated both the disk and the player as possible problems. But, because I’m stupid, I try Sony’s Tech support.

They have what they call “Live Chat”, but it seems anything but Live. Every response from this “Rebecca_” character takes at least 3 minutes. This makes the whole process much more infuriating. What follows here is part of the actual conversation I had with this “person” at Tech Support.

This is the "conversation" I had with this "person"

This is the actual "conversation" I had with this "person"

Please try to remember that there are three to five minutes between any two blue lines of text. I have been using the internet for a long time, so I respond more or less instantly. But, the point here is the canned, unnatural tone of “Rebecca”. (Yes, I will use a lot of quotes in the is post). I wonder, if I had simply responded “Yes” to the question about firmware, would I have gotten the same reply? I think so. I guess I was talking to a manatee, because none of the questions got us anywhere. In the end, the “person” told me I needed “extensive troubleshooting” and gave me a number to call. For posterity, if you are in the US, you can call 1-800-222-7669 to talk to a person who is just as unhelpful as a robot. At least the responses take less time…

I called those people, they told me to turn it off for a minute then turn it back on. That didn’t work. They told me to unplug it from the power for a minute, then turn it on. That didn’t work either. Oops! “That’s above my pay grade” says the man who doesn’t know the correct pronunciation of “Firmware”. He tells me he’s going to transfer me to level 2. I can hardly wait. It’s like Bubble Bobble, eventually there’s an end…. Maybe. “I’m sorry, the level two guys have already gone home….” Damn, and I was so close. He did, however, give me their direct line: 866-385-7669. And if anyone else is interesed, Sony’s Level 2 help is open from 10am-10pm EST. I live in mountain time which means they are open from “Ass O’clock” to “Oh, for fuck’s sake”.

Eventually, I will try again. If I come up with a solution, I will let all of my (many) dedicated readers know. For now, I’ll just have to stare longingly at the case. A silent demand to see Neil Patrick Harris‘ face.

In unrelated news, I gave Wikipedia $30. I think they’ve earned it, don’t you? Also, I will now consider it a lifetime license to link Wikipedia in my posts and not feel like I’m getting something for nothing. Don’t believe I donated? Check it out.

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